it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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