So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
