btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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