watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize