Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
