on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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