Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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