i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
