I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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