Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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