It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
