Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
