i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
