Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
