U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So many bounce houses so little time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize