my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
