I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
