I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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