The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
