I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
