Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize