Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize