She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
