remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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