your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
