I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
