You're completely useless in the revolution.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
