I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
