love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
