very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
