I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
