I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
