They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
