My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
