curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize