Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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