I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
