Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
