...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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