what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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