fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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