He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize