I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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