I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
