the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Randomize