ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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