Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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