Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
