Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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