Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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