): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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