But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
