You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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