i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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