I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You smell like stripper and shame
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
