I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think i scared a bird with my dick
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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