so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
